QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF !!
- Are you a family in a church going through domestic violence and often wonder where God is at that time in your life?
- Are you a survivor of domestic violence needing to rebuild or give your testimony on how you survived?
- Does your partner...intimidate you, check up on you, dislike you having friends, blame you when you are mistreated or hurt you?
- Are you feeling ... frightened, lonely, depressed, isolated, and powerless?
- Are your children witnesses of domestic violence?
- Do you realize the affect domestic violence has on the children?
- Did you know abuse could be physical, emotional, sexual and financial or involve other controlling behaviors?
- Are you unsure where and/or how to get help?
Stalking
- Stalking was recognized as a separate crime for the first time in 1990.
- Best available statistics show that the highest numbers of stalking victims are women who were in abusive relationships.
- Best available statistics show that stalkers tend to have psychological and/or personality disorders.
- Best available statistics show that 1 out of 20 adults will be stalked in his or her lifetime.
“Domestic Violence a hidden crime”
by: Dr. Grettel Obando
Symptoms to identify a possible domestic aggressor:
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Throws objects at you.
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Berates and insults you in public (criticizes your race, religion and other beliefs).
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Constantly accuses the partner of infidelity.
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Maintains a permanent harassment.
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The aggressor bans the victim from studying or working.
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Is opposed to relations with family and friends.
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Sexually abuses his partner.
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When using drugs or alcohol, resorts to violence.
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In certain instances the aggressor will slap, strangle, hit, bite or wound his partner.
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Will try to control all financial activities and will insist in detailed accounts of expenditures.
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Humiliates the partner before other people.
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Destroys personal property and objects of sentimental value for the couple.
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Uses or threatens with arms.
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Threatens the partner or the couple’s children
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Insists on deciding your way of dressing
If the answer to these 15 points is positive, this is the time to ask for help. There are things you can do to solve this problem.
How to protect yourself?
Call the police. Aggression, even by a member of the family is a crime.
Get out of the house or try to have somebody with you. Go to an institution for abused women.
Obtain medical attention or go to the emergency room of a hospital. You can ask the hospital personnel to take photos of your wounds and obtain a detailed record of all medical proceedings in case you attempt legal action.
Call on your family relations court and ask for information on how to obtain a civil restriction order that doesn’t include criminal accusations or penalties.
Don’t ignore the problem, break the secret, and make the situation known to other people. Part of the power of the aggressor comes from the fact that he is protected by secret Silence doesn’t accomplish anything. Understand that if you are afraid for your security or your children’s security, you can leave the house, after informing the pertinent authorities and go to court to denounce the facts and ask for protective measures. If you have no money, ask for free judicial help.
Make a detailed plan and know what you must do in case of a new aggression. Have some money hidden, choose a place to which you can go and maintain the important documents and papers together and in a place in which you can easily find them in an emergency.
Learn to think independently. Try to make plans for the future and establish personal goals.
